Shenanigans gone right
by brittaforthewin
Summary: Jeff just had to mess with Britta. He just had to send those text messages to Marcus. Now he's really messed up because Marcus was actually Britta's nephew, and not a new lover. *Takes place after Ep 2.13-Celebrity Pharmacology :D A one-shot, and my first. Reviews are really appreciated.


_Hey, Marcus. I'm Jeff. I'm like, uh, Britta's boyfriend._

The words rang in Jeff Winger's head over and over again as he stepped out of Greendale, and made his way to his car. He only said it to cover up his stupid mistake. He didn't know that he was texting Britta's nephew. It's just that it was the first thing he thought of when he approached the teenage boy to clear up the mess. But why'd he have to say boyfriend? Saying he was simply her friend would've been enough for sure. He started the engine and went home, trying his best to push the events of that day, especially the image of him in cat ears, as far from his thoughts as possible.

"Thanks Marcus! These flowers are beautiful!" Britta exclaimed, as she gave her nephew a big hug.

"No problem, aunt Britta. That play was sick! And the marijuana guy was insane! I laughed so hard, it felt like my guts were going to explode!"

"Well, I'm glad you had fun, buddy. But you did understand the lesson of the play, right? Drugs are no good."

"Yeah, I did. But I still wanna try them like maybe once. When I'm in college or something." Britta laughed and felt a little guilty, knowing that she had had her fun with drugs, and really had no place to lecture this boy. Screw it, she thought. He'll figure it all out on his own.

"What did you think of my character though?" She asked, making conversation. What do you say to a fourteen year old boy anyway?

"You were alright. I didn't know the dude playing the other cat was your boyfriend though".

"My what?" Britta retorted, her voice rising.

"Your boyfriend. He introduced himself earlier when he-" Marcus stopped in mid-sentence when he realized that he was going to reveal too much. "Uh, I mean. I was looking for you, and I asked him, and he told me he was your boyfriend."

"Did he now?" Britta was confused as to why Jeff would say such a thing. She felt her heart race, and she didn't know what caused the sudden rush she felt all over her body. She could feel her cheeks heating up, and she was at a loss for words.

"Uh-huh."

"Well, if that's what he said." Britta finally replied lamely.

Marcus reached for his phone and left Britta alone with her thoughts. "That was my mom," Marcus said seconds later. "She's waiting out front. It was really nice seeing you Aunt Britta. Mom says you should come over for dinner sometime. I don't mind. You're pretty cool for an Aunt."

"Well, thank you." Britta said, feeling her lips curve into a smile. Well, what do you know? Britta Perry is a cool Aunt. What she would've given for the gang to have heard that. Guess she's not a total screw-up after all. She ruffled her nephew's hair and said her goodbyes. "Oh, and thanks again for the flowers."

"No problem!" Marcus called out as he went out the door. Britta looked around to notice that the auditorium was practically empty. She went backstage to gather the last of her belongings. She said goodbye to Shirley and Chang who were still there, and then headed for the exit. She walked the halls of Greendale, still thinking about what Marcus had said. Why would Jeff say that he was her boyfriend? Was he messing with her again? Did he intentionally tell Marcus to say that just to get on her nerves? And most importantly, why didn't she set the record straight and tell Marcus that he wasn't her boyfriend? All these questions were swirling around her, and as she got to her car and opened the door, she decided to make a quit pitstop before heading home.

It had been a long day, and Jeff just wanted to relax. He put on some soft Jazz music, and fixed himself a drink. He seated himself in front of the television, and was about to turn it on when he heard the doorbell. "Darn it," he mumbled. He stood up, knowing that if it was another one of those door-to-door salesmen, he'd just lose it. He flung the door open, ready to give whoever it was an earful, when he found himself standing in front of a leather-clad blonde, with a mischievous look in her eyes.

"So, boyfriend huh?"

Jeff didn't know how to respond. Of all the people, he had not expected Britta.

"I can explain," Jeff began.

"Oh, I'm sure you can," Britta replied hotly. "Yes, Jeffrey Tobias Winger, please explain why you would tell my nephew that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I'd really like to know." She pushed him aside and stepped inside his apartment. She sat on the couch where he had been sitting on just seconds ago, hands crossed across her chest, waiting expectantly for his big explanation. He snapped out of the stupor and closed the door. He took a few steps towards her, and tried to rack his brain for a lie that was believable enough to justify the screw-up he used to cover his other screw-up. Realizing that he had nothing to say, he decided to do the one thing he was never comfortable with; Tell the truth.

He sat on the opposite end of the couch and took a deep breath. "Okay, here it goes."

"I'm waiting," she replied.

"So, the day after our rehearsals, we were all in the study room, right? Shirley had just left and you followed after her. Well, uh. Your phone was on the desk when it beeped. I, uh, looked at the text message, and it was Marcus, only I didn't know he was your nephew, and I may have texted him something that aunts should never say to their nephews. He could see Britta's eye grow large, and he knew what was coming for him.

"First off, you went through my phone without my permission! That's a violation of my privacy, you jerk!" She yelled. She stood up and punched him on the arm.

"Ow!" Jeff reacted.

"You deserved it." Britta retorted, and went back to her seat. "'Also, what did you text Marcus?"

"I, uh, may have said something about you wanting to show him what's underneath the cat costume.." he said quietly. He couldn't even look at Britta. Thinking of it now, the whole thing was stupid and just embarrassing. Why'd he have to pick up her stupid phone in the first place? Damn him!

Britta's eyes grew even larger, and her nostrils were flaring. She knelt on the couch and lounged at Jeff. "You jerk! You creepy, disgusting jerk!" She screamed louder and louder, throwing slaps and punches. "I want to claw your eyes out!" She said angrily. Jeff was trying to shield himself with his arms, but to no avail. Britta might be small, but she is persistent. He finally grabbed hold of her wrists, and knelt on the couch as well.

"Let go of me!" Britta yelled.

"Only if you promise to stop it with the punches!" Jeff calmly replied.

"No way!" She tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but to no avail. He was too strong for her. She finally stopped struggling. They were both kneeling on the couch, and Jeff held her wrists above her head.

"Fine." Britta mumbled. "I'll stop."

"Thank you." Jeff replied, and let go of her hands. "Now as I was tryi- Ouch!" Before Jeff could finish what he was saying, Britta gave him one last punch. A hard one, right on his chest. Britta was very pleased with herself for having caught him off guard, although she could not ignore the slight pain she felt on her knuckles. Jeff worked out, and his chest was taut and all muscle. No wonder it had hurt. But she was not going to show pain. She fell back on the couch and smirked.

"Now I'll stop."

Jeff was rubbing his chest though it didn't hurt that much. The only thing he was suffering from was his wounded ego for having put his guard down and letting Britta get the final word. They eyed each other across the couch, and he wanted to say something more, but decided to remain silent.

"Okay, now you can finish your story," Britta finally said.

"Fine." He sat up straight, not breaking eye contact and continued on. "Anyway, when you said that Marcus was your nephew, I knew that I had to fix the mess I made. I looked for him after the play, and that's when I told him that I was your-"

"-boyfriend." Britta finished for him. "Now what I don't see here is why you had to say that you were my boyfriend." She continued. She was enjoying this. She could see that Jeff felt uncomfortable being on the hot seat. Serves him right, she thought.

"I, uh" he looked away. He couldn't take her intent gaze any longer.

"Yeah, Jeff?"

"Look, I don't know why I said that, okay?" He sounded angry. No, he wasn't angry. He was frustrated. "It just came out. I didn't know how else to introduce myself. For chrissake Britta. We've been sleeping with each other for months now, and saying that I was just "a friend" didn't feel right!" Jeff realized the implication of his words, and wished he could have taken them back. Why did he say that? He might as well have said that they were a real couple. But they weren't. Right? Right? He felt panicked, and it seemed like the walls of his apartment were closing in on him. But at the same time, he felt relieved. He wanted to say those words. Deep inside, he wanted to confront all the confusing feeling associated with Britta. They were "friends with benefits". That's what they had agreed on. But along the way, something had happened. He didn't know what, or when, but something had definitely changed.

Britta was shocked. This was not what she had expected. She looked at Jeff, and she knew that he was just as confused as she was. What was he trying to say? That he wanted to be more than friends? Britta felt her heart race again. Twice in one day. And all because of Jeff Winger. This wasn't right, she decided. The entire room was silent. She didn't know how to respond. And Jeff was just as stunned by what he had said to say anything more. Each second that ticked by felt like hours, and the tension was so heavy in the air that they both felt suffocated. It had been a full minute of total laconism before one of them said something.

"Jeff-"

""Britta-"

How cliché, they both thought. Saying something just as the other person was about to? How sappy. If Abed were in the room, he would've come up with a bunch of movies to reference what had just happened.

Another minute of silence.

"You first." Jeff finally said.

"No, you. I kinda forgot what I was going to say," Britta responded.

Jeff drew in another deep breath and chose his words carefully this time. _Well, here goes nothing._

"Look, Britta. You, you make me feel things I don't understand. Being around you makes me act a certain way, and it usually ends with me making a fool of myself." He was on a roll. It was now or never. Time to lay down all the cards on the table. Ever since Abed almost caught them during the St. Patrick's Day fiasco, things just weren't the same.

Jeff remembered that day all too well. They had snuck into Abed's room for a little quickie. As they were about to get dressed, Abed walks in and sees them in their underwear. He made up some stupid lie about how leprechauns stole their clothes, and Abed fell for it. But the thing is, what if it had been someone else who had caught them? Had it been Shirley or Annie, the lie about stealing leprechauns wouldn't have worked. That had bothered him for days. One night, after a few shots too many at L-Street/Red Door, Jeff had come to a startling realization. Part of him had hoped it was Shirley or Annie that had walked in. Because if that were the case, they wouldn't have just shrugged it off. They would have forced Jeff and Britta to figure out what they were really doing, which is what he has wanted all along. He could never tell Britta all that on his own, so the only thing left was to have someone else do it for him.

He snapped back to the present, and saw Britta staring at him, waiting for him to continue. He looked into her beautiful blue-grey eyes, and knew what he wanted to say. His heart started beating faster, and his palms felt sweaty. He had to tell her, he had to.

"Britta, when I looked at the text message, I had automatically assumed it was a guy you liked. And I instantly felt jealous. That's why I sent out that stupid text. Because I thought that it would somehow mess with whatever had been going on between you two. I couldn't-"

Jeff let out a huge sigh. He was nervous about how she'd react to what he was going to say next.

"I couldn't stand the thought of you being with anyone else besides me."

There, he said it. He waited anxiously for Britta to say something. Either that, or run out of his apartment to get as far away from him as possible.

"Jeff, I-" Britta Perry was paralyzed. She didn't know what to say or what to do. Part of her wanted to leave, but another part wanted to have this conversation. She wasn't the type that got attached. Commitment scared her more than anything else in the world. She had a habit of falling for guys that weren't right for her. That way, there was no future for them both, and she could exit anytime she wanted. She didn't believe in serious relationships. She didn't believe in relationships, period. But part of what Jeff made sense. When she told Jeff that she loved him during the "Tranny Dance", it wasn't a complete lie. There was this bit of her heart that Jeff had claimed. But when Jeff had instigated this whole sleeping together with no strings attached, she was more than ready to agree because she wanted to prove that it was all physical attraction between them. But somewhere along the road, she realized that it was more than just sex. She just didn't know how to tell Jeff.

"Jeff, I-" she began again. "I honestly don't know what to say." She looked into his eyes, and they were a beautiful clear blue, and she could see the creases on his forehead, and knew that he was just as terrified about the whole thing as she was. "I thought that it was all about the sex for you. I had no idea that you felt differently."

"And you couldn't have. I'm guarded, Britta. I pretend like I don't care, but I do. And it's crazy because during our first few days at Greendale, everyone at the study group thought that I was this nice guy and you were the only one who really saw me. You saw me as the manipulative douche that I am, and yet you still wanted to be my friend."

"Was, Jeff."

"What?

"You said "manipulative douche that I am", but you're not that guy anymore. You've changed. You did become a really nice guy. One that has come to love everyone in our study group, regardless of all our hang-ups. Saying what you just said took a lot of courage. And maybe it's time I try to be courageous too."

"I'm just as guarded as you. I was sixteen when I ran away from my parents', and from that moment on, I had only myself to rely on. I'm not used to having other people look out for me. Worst of all, I'm scared of commitment. I saw how messed up my parents' marriage was, and I didn't want to go through all that. So I built this wall around myself, to protect me from ever getting too close to someone that would only hurt me in the end. I've never had a friend like you, Jeff. Everyone else I've ever known eventually gives up trying to break through. But you didn't. You scaled the wall and got to the other side. And now I'm scared because I didn't give you permission to come in, but you did anyway. And you stayed, Jeff. No one ever stays."

She could feel her eyes welling up. It had taken a lot of strength to say all these things to Jeff. A tear betrayed her and it was more than Jeff could handle. He stood up and enveloped Britta in a hug. Her head rested on his chest, the very same chest she had punched earlier, and cried her heart out. Jeff didn't say anything. He didn't have to. As he rested his chin on her head, he hugged her even tighter, and was amazed at all the barriers they had broken and bridges they had crossed. And all because of his stupid text message.

Minutes later, Britta's sobs have subdued to mere sniffles.

"Jeff?" She whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Your shirt. It's silk, and I got tears and snot all over it." She looked up, and saw Jeff smiling at her. She couldn't help but smile back.

"It's okay, Britta. You'll be able to make it up to me, eventually." They both laugh as Britta untangles herself from Jeff's arms.

"We're both quite a mess, huh?" Britta says, between sniffles

"You can say that again." Jeff says with a grin.

Silence.

"So, what happens now?"Britta asks. They're sitting cross-legged on the couch, their knees touching as they look into each other's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Jeff says quizzically.

"What happens to us, silly. Like, with the us italicized." Britta says jokingly.

"Oh, right." Jeff says. He pauses, and he gathers his thoughts together. "I wasn't lying about what I said earlier, Britta. I don't want us to be just friends, and I don't want us to just be each other's booty call."

Britta couldn't help but laugh when he said booty call. "Sorry," she apologized. "Go on."

"As I was saying." He paused once again. This was harder than he thought. Britta Perry, I. He paused once more, then let it all out in a breath. Iwantustobearealcouple."

"Excuse me?" Britta had understood nothing. She looked expectantly into his eyes, and he took a deep breath before saying the words.

"I want us to be a real couple, goddammit."

"Jeff."

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Now he looked worried. He could feel his palms get sweatier, and it suddenly felt like a hundred degrees. Had he totally misinterpreted everything Britta was saying? Did she just want them to be friends?

Before he could go on a complete meltdown, Britta spoke up. "It is. That's what I want, Jeff. But I'm scared. What if things don't go as planned? What if we don't work out? You're like my bestfriend, and I could never handle losing you." She could feel the tears welling up again. But she was prepared this time. She didn't want to have to go through another set of waterworks.

"Oh, Britta." Jeff he took one of her hands and planted a light kiss on her knuckles. "I'm just as scared as you are. I'm not psychic, and you're right. We have no control over what could happen. We might work out and be happy for the rest of our lives, or things could just fall apart and we never speak to each other again. But I'm willing to risk all that. I want you, Britta. I want to be with you. I want to wake up and look into your beautiful eyes every morning. I want to yell at you for taking too long in the shower. I want to bash on you when you sing Radiohead songs off key. And I want to do all the mushy couple-y things we always make fun of. I want to hold your hand, go on walks around the park, watch movies, take you to fancy restaurants for dinner, take care of you when you're sick. Take pictures of us and post them on instagram to make everyone else jealous. You make me so happy. And I promise you, I will keep fighting for us. I will keep scaling the wall, or find a tank strong enough to break through. I will do everything to prove that I'm in this for the long haul.

She tried, she really did. But she couldn't keep the tears from falling. She thought that by now, she'd be immune from his Jeff Winger speeches, but it still got to her.

"I hate you for making me cry again." She wanted to say more, but she couldn't think properly. Not after everything he said.

"Hey, that's not my fault. And besides, for an activist, you're reall-"

And just like before, Jeff never got to finish his sentence. He felt Britta's lips touch his, and whatever he was going to say just flew out the window. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She didn't have to say anything more, the kiss said it was all. It was nothing like the kisses they had shared before. There was an urgency that was never there before. But most importantly, there was love. They were careful to have not said the three words, but it was all around them. It was in their hearts, it was in this kiss. Britta broke off first. Her hands were still around his head, and she looked into his eyes and said something he thought he'd never get to hear again.

"Jeff Winger, I love you. And don't you dare run away this time."

"I wouldn't dream of it." They kissed once again, and as they felt their bodies pressed against once each other, they focused on the beautiful and crazy adventure they were about to embark on. Jeff clumsily led Britta into his bedroom, their lips never parting. He had accidentally stubbed his toe against a closet and had yelped out in pain. Britta couldn't help but laugh. She led Jeff to the bed and helped him lie down as she sat beside him.

"Man, it really hurts." Jeff said.

"You're being such a baby!" Britta retorted.

"Baby, huh?" Jeff said menacingly. "Well, can a baby do this?"

He wrapped his arms around Britta and manoeuvred it so that she was directly on top of him. He ran his hands through her hair as he pulled her closer for another kiss.

Before kissing her again, he put his hand on her cheek, and whispered, "I love you too, Britta Perry."

The clock read 2am and they were on his bed. They were had been drifting in and out of sleep. This time around, they both found it hard to fall asleep again. Neither one of them were talking. Jeff's amazing 100% cotton sheets covered their naked bodies, and felt soft and lush to the touch. Jeff arms were around Britta, and she was cuddled safe in his embrace. Jeff traced kisses down her arm her back, before touching her chin and turning her head towards his direction.

"I thought of how you could repay me." He said sleepily.

Britta stifled a yawn. "Repay you for what?"

"For getting snot and tears on my silk shirt." He replied.

"Mkayy, what do I have to do?" she replied, barely awake.

"You have to be the one to explain all this to the study group."

"Dude! No way!" She felt less sleepy now, after hearing what Jeff had said.

"Sorry, kitten." He says mischievously. Rules are rules.

"Gah, whatever. Since I'm telling the story, I might just add in a few additional parts such as you begging on your knees, and crying."

'"Hey, no fair!"

"Kidding!" Britta giggles. "Who would've thought that all it took was a stupid text to my nephew for us to come to terms with all this?"

"The universe has it's ways." Jeff replied feeling drowsy once again.

Britta cuddled closer to him, her head on his chest, feeling it rise and fall to the beat of his heart. "Goodnight, Jeff." She closes her eyes and dozes off.

"Goodnight, Britta." And trust me when I say that I am staying for good," he whispers as he kisses her softly on the lips and falls asleep as well.

END


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